Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: County coming from the city where no pity is shell. Shell might need to do a song for LA.
[00:00:06] Speaker B: Straight up.
Hello, my name is Elaine and I'll be your tour guide through south central Los Angeles. Count my dough and smoke up. I'm from California.
[00:00:22] Speaker A: Where you from?
[00:00:23] Speaker B: So what? California. California.
[00:00:28] Speaker A: This is Los Angeles.
[00:00:30] Speaker B: Where are we going? Westward house.
The way you make me feel I want to talk about get up and walk and show me.
I tell you babe, you make me feel.
I tell you baby.
[00:00:58] Speaker A: Because I can do that I could do that man where would I be if it wasn't for twelve cow in these goddamn topics that he be finding I got to get all the praise I got to get all the credit to twelve cow. This is the ghost writer behind this episode because he sent me a list that I thought was full of shit. Let me tell you why. Because this is the ten authentic. Look, hear the word, the choice of words that they chose for this.
And it says, by the Good Men Project, last updated on May 16, 2023 this year they said, this is the ten authentic phrases to instantly romance a woman. Listen to this bullshit. All right, so at number one, at number one here are ten authentic phrases instantly to romance a woman. Number one. I can't stop thinking about you. Now I get it. It's like some movie shit. It's like some hallmark shit. Right out the gate, you call her up, hey, I can't stop thinking about you.
If you don't say it the right way, it's going to come off wrong. It's going to come off a little stalkerish. And what if she never was feeling you? Now you've been thinking about somebody that don't like you.
Okay, well, let's just say it's your wife. She probably still don't like you, but I think it is important to say that. But romance, I guess. You know what? Hey, this is by the good project men. So I guess they must know. I don't know how many it is. Number two, you turn me on so much. I think you got to add to so much, right?
You basically just telling her you horny at this point.
You turn me on.
When have you ever said as an adult, you turned me on? There's other ways of saying this.
You're very attractive. I'm attracted to you. This is an attractive moment. But never. You're turning me on. That's the shit that you say in the movies in 1993.
You know what I'm saying? But hey, it's number two. It's number two. Number three, you make me feel like a man now. That's nice. I mean, we need to hear that sometimes.
We need to hear that.
It cleanses our soul when we hear.
It's a top five compliment. It's a top five compliment. You know what I'm saying? Like, understand? If a man ever looks at you in your face, whether or not your breath stinker or not, and says, you make me feel like a man.
That's a lot.
Don't argue with them. You can't argue with him for at least two and a half weeks.
Cannot do that. After that, you got to give up the draws. Number four.
How did I get so lucky to have you on my life?
I ain't going to lie to you. Most men say that, like, after they just went through some shit, going through it at work, you know what I'm saying? And she held you down or you were sick, your mom no longer takes care of you. So the home remedies, hopefully you can learn those when you little. And you can make sure you keep that shit updated as an adult, but your wife is going to take care of you. You're the little baby. You punking out right now. You're sick. You got the flu, the shingles or some shit, right? And you curled up, you've been the small spoon for several days.
I ain't going to lie. I'm the small spoon without being sick.
That's a fact.
All right, so that's number four. Now at number five, you drive me crazy. In a good way. No, that's not going to. No, that's like a pop video. That's somebody saying that in a pop video on MTV. No, nobody says that.
Nobody says, you drive me crazy.
And if we do say it, it's not a compliment.
If niggas is driving me crazy, I'm probably being irritated. Okay, so, no, that's not going to work for any type of woman. You tell a woman that she's driving you crazy, you automatically got what niggas from New York gonna say. Or from Philly, they don't know how to say shit sweet like that, son.
You drive me crazy, son. That sounds like you want an argument. No, we're not doing that. Number six, you're just adorable. That one is cool. I like that. I'm not mad at that one.
I would probably say it more like you're adorable. I wouldn't say you're just adorable.
It's too Disney ish with me.
I'm cool with number six, but you just got to reword that one. Number seven, nobody makes me feel happier than you. That's cap. He's just won a ps five.
Come on, man. Like these hallmark.
No, this is not it. The shooting percentage is bad on this 112 cow. I got to say, man. I don't know about this one. Number eight.
Aren't you the sweetest? That's something a nigga that was born in 1927 would say.
For real.
Nobody says that.
Nobody has said that since 1983, the year my wife was born.
Aren't you the sweetest? And we don't even say that. Women say that. Women will say that. Women who make phenomenal apple pies from scratch say that shit. You know what I'm saying? So, no, I'm not coming up on the end.
God, you're just perfect.
It's a simp. That's a simp saying some shit like that.
That's a friend zone, nigga, saying shit like that. You know what I'm saying? You're just perfect.
No, because reality, niggas, none of you. Nobody's perfect. You get on my nerves, boss. You the type that leave the top of the toothpaste.
Top off the toothpaste. I don't like that. We got issues. Let's knuckle up. Okay. Because you're not perfect. I'm not perfect, but I make sure I screw that goddamn top back on. That's a fact. Coming up on the end. What's the last one going with the last one? Here we go. Here we go. This one might get you to draw us right here.
Come on, stop being so cute. Now, look, that's big head status right there. You know what I'm saying? That's playing around.
That's a good 110. And six are pretty solid.
Ten got to be number one for me. Come on, stop being cute. Yeah, just put that foop in my face. That's foopa in my face compliment right there. Stop playing around. Okay. That's what that means. So, a twelve cow. I appreciate the topic. I do. Come on, dog. That was a dope topic, but I'm just going to say this. That was a little bit of catness on that one. You know what I'm saying? Authentic romance. That's women. I need to know. I need to know. Women. Come on. I need some feedback on this one. Okay. Normally, it ain't too many episodes I'm going to ask for feedback on. I need some feedback on this one. We take it online, too. But don't you all think at least 80% of this list is just. 80% of this list is a little primetime television. You know what I'm saying? A little full house ish, Mr. Belvedere ish. Don't they feel like that a little bit? Come on, man. I can't rock with that. I can't rock with that. But come on, stop being cute. That one's fire. That one's fire. See, I used to have one.
I'm not their originator. What was it?
Your heart is free. You just got to follow it.
That's a bonus one. King German. That's a bonus one.
But obviously, you can't use this if you marry, okay? Because your heart is no longer free. Don't get slapped, nigga. Okay, for all your single cats out here behind the paywall with the rest of them, okay, I gave you all one. I might give you all another one, but I gave you all one, okay? Because I'm going to tell you all the most natural thing, okay? But look again for the free 99.
And if you're single, your heart is free. You just have to follow it. That's fire.
And then just turn on some r and b.
Don't even waste your time trying to elaborate on what it means. You say something like that, you look at her dead in her eyes and you say. You say something like this. You say your heart is free, you just have to follow it. And just throw on any type of r and b. Anything.
This is your hardest free, you just have to follow it type of music right here.
And I promise you, you gonna get to at least second. They gonna skip you from first base to second base.
Just throw something like that.
Just throw something like that.
But seriously, though, I mean, the List is cool if you all want to go that route. If any of you all niggas want to use that, that's cool. I heard you have a bad time. I'm talking to women out there anyway, so. Twelve cow. Maybe they need this list.
No, here's the thing. Take this list.
Go print it out. Go to staples, go print it out. Get the poster, laminate it, okay? Tape it to the wall. Don't nail it.
You don't own that wall. Okay? Tape it. Okay.
Construction tape at that. I want you to go through your podcast library, unless you're already subscribed, which you should be. Go look up too much game by Uncle Dolomite.
Listen to about. Listen to several episode. Okay? Just throw some random ones. It don't matter which one you go to. Just throw several of those. Okay?
Go get you something to drink. Go get you some koolaid. As a matter of fact. Okay. Kiwi strawberry, probably mix that one with the grape or the cherry limeade. Thank me later.
And I want you to look at that list. And I want you to go through one through ten. I want you to circle number six. I want you to circle number ten. Because those are the ones that at the end of the day, you're going to need those as reinforcements. And I gave you a free one, which your heart is free. You just have to follow it. But you study.
I want you to study the other ones and see and pick two or three from that litter. And then go get you something, man. Go get you something. And then if you get something, let me know. Tag me in a picture with you and your boo. Y'all going to like Six Flags or something like that, you know what I'm saying? First date thing of a jig, jitters and shit like that. You all going to amusement park or r and B only? Going to r and B only event is dope. You know what I'm saying? Go to the ones out here in Anaheim. That one was fired. You know what I'm saying? Where you all going? To listen to a lot of r and b, a lot of connection. And if it works out, yo, tag me. Tag twelve cow and thank him because he the one that found this list. He has a rolodex of list. I'm going to call him up after this and just be like, yeah, I need another one. I need another one. You know what I'm saying? So, OTR, Mike, you let me know, but let me know if I'm tripping or not. Most of this list is cap. Okay, but let me know if I'm tripping or not, Big Mike, you know what I'm saying? I want you to go through this list and if need be, hit my line and I'll send you. Or hit twelve cow. He got the list. That's where he came from. And. And see what you could do with this dog. Not necessarily a remix, but just your version in general. I don't want you to remix this. I want you to do your version of it. I heard them boys is back.
I heard OTR is back, though. You know what I'm saying?
Is that breaking news?
I better get out of here.
