First Class Ignorance

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Go out to la. [00:00:02] Speaker B: Comin from the city where no pity is. Shell. Shell. [00:00:04] Speaker A: Somebody need to do a song for la. [00:00:06] Speaker C: Straight up. [00:00:13] Speaker D: Hello, my name is Elaine and I'll be your tour guide through South Central Los Angeles. [00:00:18] Speaker B: Look, count my dough and smoke up. I'm from California, where you from? So what? I'm from California. Cal California. Cal California. This is Los Angeles. Well, where Worth. [00:00:44] Speaker E: Can't be broke to do this. You can't be broke to do this. But I want to introduce to y' all as one of the wealthiest. I'm talking about God sculptured himself, literally. Airlines. This airlines is so expensive, it's so prestige that it changes names. No, you don't understand what I'm saying. It doesn't stick with the same airline name. It doesn't. It rotates the name. It's under one. It's not one, not one, it's two. There's two podcast billionaires who came together and not even purchased an actual airport. They created their own airport in different locations. I mean, obviously, you know what I mean? But what I mean by that is this is a special expensive and I wouldn't necessarily say private, but once you check the prices, I mean, that excludes a lot of people. Now, before I get into basically describing what this airlines is about, I have to talk to my reward members for a bit because we do have some company and some policy, some company policy updates. Okay, great news. Because of your generous donations from, I mean, we have consistent customers all the time. You know, the Dolomites of the world, the stone elder reblaze of the world. It's just a plethora of wealthy podcasters who have donated their funds throughout the years. And this is a fairly new one. So it's not like they have a lot of history. They, they honestly didn't get this up and running until after, you know, the, the COVID years. But with that money, we officially created themed flights, you know, for the signature airlines. Now each experience gets its own atmosphere, entertainment, activities, food, all exclusive packages. Right? So for example, coming this fall, we have the, the newest theme flight, which is the fetish flight. And you might ask, hey, what is. It's adults only. It's kind of like how a virgin has that cruise where there's no kids allowed. What's going on with that? Whoa. Well, look, we don't hide it. You know, we are, you know, we, we, we kind of pro mile high, you know, so it's, it's a very proactive masquerade style experience featuring like fantasy inspired fashion theme Entertainment. It's all exclusive VIP experience, baby. You know, we also have a, A dark humor journey type of flight. You might ask, what is that? It's an outrageous, immersive, dark comedy flight. Fictional aviation. Bizarre announcements and like that, unexpected twists, you know what I'm saying? Like they, it's stage emergencies, you know what I'm saying? Like, like it's no real threats to the passengers, no need for them to panic. But it's people who like that type of thrill. I'm not gonna be on that, you know what I'm saying? But you know there's some people out there that'll pay for that. The one experience. The 1% experience. I'm gonna say that again cause I messed it up the first time. The 1% experience. What is this? This the ultra shit. This, that exclusive billionaire treatment type shit, you know that private chefs, you know, luxury dining, personalized service, you know what I'm saying? Extravagant gifts. Nigga, we talking about that. That once in a lifetime type experience is shit that you not gonna get my 1% experience. Now I can't tell you what that package is. You actually have to become a member and a rewards member in order to. For you to even get that type of knowledge. And you got to pay to get the. To. To actually try to find out what it is, how you get it. It's kind of like, it's kind of like Lamborghinis, like specialized lamb Lamborghinis, they only make so many, you know what I'm saying? So check out become a reward members today and then check out that 1% experience. All right? And of course, like I said earlier about the fetish flight, we also had a mile high academy, you know what I'm saying? This is still a little bit mysterious, you know what I'm saying? Adults only still. But I want to make this one more educational and interactive, you know what I'm saying? Type of fight experience will develop like exactly what passengers are supposed to learn at this academy. So you can attend like the fetish flights, you know what I'm saying? So the ones that we're working on right now, it's only 12 months out of the year and we want to implement a lot of holidays. So we thinking about doing a Hollywood horror flight, you know what I'm saying? Costumes, hunted cabin atmosphere type shit, you know what I'm saying? Spooky entertainment. Another one is the Christmas in the clouds. Holiday celebrations, gifts exchange, you know what I'm saying? Festive luxury shit, you know what I'm saying? Going Viral flight. That's content creators. My challenges, competition, social media, fame, you know, niggas that just want to stunt and shit like that will have a flight for that. This one is a, a favorite of mine. It's an idea that I came up with a long time ago and I'm ready to, I'm ready to put this in work. I gotta hit the floor with it. But this is the R B After Dark, you know what I'm saying? It's that romantic nostalgia type of entertainment, you know what I'm saying? What's next, Marcy? Inspired. But this is the girls trip express, you know what I'm saying? Birthday celebrations, friendships, shit like that. And then we got one. Not necessarily for the fellas. This can, you know, the women can participate in this one too. But we got the Vegas before Vegas experience, you know what I'm saying? That's like a casino. Expired games on there. Luxury night night live. You're going to get wasted before you actually get to Sin City. Mile High Romance, that ties into the academy, you know what I'm saying? So, and to me, the mount the Mile High Academy versus the Mile High Romance. The Mile High Romance is more so for couples or, or people who are dating and shit like that. The Mile High Academy is more so of how you want, you know, learning how to get down on, on the flights, you know what I'm saying? Throwback flight. What is that? That's like different decades, you know, different music and shit like that. It's kind of like a, a time machine going back and forth on that flight. And then last but not least, I want to introduce the, the sports fan charter. And that's for, you know, sports rivalries, game day experiences and just shit like that. So the flight experience catalog we're piecing together, very, very, very excited for that. But we do have to go over a couple of things though. You know the Billionaire Airways passenger policy. And the reason why we have to go over this every year, because we update it every year. And we want to make sure that we keep our company very prestige and respected with a lot of standards. Your money is appreciated. Your complaints are under review. Okay? Your refund. Well, is none of our concern. It's none of our concern. Why? Because policy number one, the refund department, all sales are emotionally final. Once you purchase your ticket, you've entered a committed relationship with this airline. Miss your flight, that's, that's a personal scheduling issue. Break up with your partner before a couple's flight. Well, we offer our condolences, but no refunds. My nigga. Don't enjoy the theme flight. Well, enjoyment was never guaranteed in the first place. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So request a refund. Listen here. You'll receive a handwritten apology from me and from somebody who doesn't work here, okay? That's a fact. So again, we don't give money back. We give life lessons at the end of the day. Policy number two. Financial appearances must be maintained. Passengers flying that 1% experience must act wealthy at all times. Nigga, you gotta act wealthy. No asking how much anything costs. No checking your bank account. This is first class, nigga. No announcing that you got your ticket on sale. If your car declines, flight attendants must respect, respectfully address you as your former your hear me when I call you this? Your former wealthiness. Former wealthiness. Policy number three, the relationship policy. Domestic disagreements must be declared if you're traveling with your significant other. All unresolved arguments must be disclosed before boarding. This okay. Silent treatment Lasting more than 30 minutes results in a seat reassignment. Okay? Passengers who say, oh, no, we fine. I'm fine. While visibly upset must complete a relationship declaration form. I'm not playing with you niggas. Because bring. Bring your spouse and your side piece on the same flight triggers an automatic upgrade to the witness protection section. Okay, to understand what I'm saying, Policy number four, the social media policy. Influencer verification required. Passengers on going viral flights must disclose their actual follower account. No referring to your friends as a celebrity. You. You celebrity. With only 87 followers. No filming 19 takes of yourself walking down a goddamn aisle unless you're on that. Unless you're on that type of flight. And most importantly, no saying, do you know who I am? We don't care. We don't care, man. If you got some passengers. If you've got some passengers that can identify you, then I. Rather than that. Go sit your. Go sit your weird ass down. We just finished talking about the theme flight policy, okay? Purchase experience on a Halloween flight. Screaming is permitted. Suing the ghost is not, though. We're not suing anything. You know what you signed up for on R B After Dark, passengers must know at least one Anita Bay. Anita Baker's song. That's mandatory. See, we're not just about to let y' all niggas on a flight just because y' all got some money. You gotta have the vibes, too. Okay, on the fetish flight, all participants all participate. Participation is voluntary. No touching without consent. Okay? Okay. All right. The Dark Humor Journey. Theatrical surprises are part of our part of the the the clearly this declo disclose opt in entertainment. Real threats, fake emergency calls and what do they call it? Like panic inducing pranks are prohibited. Okay. On the Mount High academy graduation is not guaranteed. Tuition is. Tuition is fictional. Policy number six, the complaint department. Customer service is a privilege, nigga. Complaints are accepted Monday through Thursday between 3:01 and 3:04am Nigga, that's the time slot. If you got something to complain about, make sure it's between Monday through Thursday between 3:01am and 3:04am okay? Passengers may submit a complaint using our exclusive customer service hotline 1-800- not-Our problem. Okay. All right. All complaints are reviewed by our executive board which consists of BTG and 12Cal and whoever happens to be awake. All right, now we will have a. A new favorite edition that we might be working around. Working on is the refund will if we willingly want to, you know, give back from time to time. But you know, shit like that, we could talk about that a little bit later. Now I want to get into something that's very serious that I think a lot of you niggas need to be a part of. And that is the introduction. See, the thing is, when me and 12 count came up with this. This idea to buy, we was looking at it for more of a, you know, a hats off to. To our fellow podcasters. That's in. That's on that top 10 list that King Jaren came up with. But now I just want. We wanted to expand the field to different billionaires and other wealthy people. But a lot of wealthy people stick to themselves and they don't necessarily know of a lot of outside information. So I can't. That's what we're here to do. [00:15:34] Speaker F: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Fortune 12 airlines. Here at the 1% airways, we believe luxury isn't a privilege, it's a lifestyle. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford this lifestyle. But today you've managed to make the cut. I'm your co owner, 12 Kyle, and on behalf of myself and the billionaire BTG, we would like to thank you for choosing to fly with us. We understand that you had other airlines to choose from. Clearly you've made the most financially irresponsible decision possible. Sit back, relax and enjoy the experience. And remember, here at Upper Echelon Airways, your destination is guaranteed, your satisfaction negotiable. Welcome to the upper class. [00:16:31] Speaker E: Couldn't have said it any better. Shout out to 12 cow. A lot of money is over there. A lot of money is over there. I want us I want to. I want to. I want to say something. Don't push yourself to a situation that you won't be able to handle. When you come to our airlines, it's a lot. It's luxury over here, okay? And we want you to experience the type of luxury that we are around all the time. Here's the problem. You gotta be able to afford it. We don't want y' all wasting your money. Now, there's rules and regulations and some of the policies that I also went through. But here's one thing. Once you get to that gate and you get seated, there's a lot of other policies that you must know. And nobody is here better to explain that. Wait a minute. I just thought about something. I just thought about something. We paid for another ad. That's crazy. [00:17:54] Speaker G: Good afternoon, distinguished passengers, and welcome aboard to Trust Fund Airways where elegance is expected and affordability is frowned upon. During today's flight, you will receive two complimentary gourmet meals. Our first meal will be served shortly after takeoff and our second will be served whenever our chef feels inspired. For those with dietary restrictions, allergies or special accommodations, please notify your flight attendant we are happy to accommodate your needs within reason and within our imaginary budget. Additional snacks, beverages and emotional support are available upon request. Emotional support will be billed separately. Thank you for flying Old Money Airways. And remember, just because you're flying first class doesn't mean you have first class money. [00:18:50] Speaker E: And God bless y'. All. I want to say. And God bless y' all again. It's a lot of money. I want y' all to attend. I want y' all to hear me out. Y' all need somewhere to go. We should be the one that you hit up. Make sure your money is in order before you come over here, okay? I appreciate y' all and I love y'. All. I love expensive things, too. So shout out to 12 Cal. Shout out to Shan. I want y' all to look into y' all funds personally. Right? Personally. And keep saving. Keep saving, ladies and gentlemen. That is the level of luxury we provide now. 12 cow. We need to discuss why our passengers keep asking for refunds. Broke ass niggers out there.