Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Go out to la Comin from the
[00:00:03] Speaker B: city where no pity is.
[00:00:04] Speaker C: Shell.
[00:00:04] Speaker A: Shell.
[00:00:04] Speaker C: Somebody need to do a song for la.
[00:00:06] Speaker B: Straight up.
[00:00:13] Speaker A: Hello, my name is Elaine and I'll be your tour guide through South Central Los Angeles.
[00:00:18] Speaker B: Look, count my nose. Smoke up. I'm from California. Where you from? So what? I'm from California. Cal, California. Cal, California.
[00:00:29] Speaker C: This is Los Angeles. Well, where work.
[00:00:41] Speaker D: Thank you for calling the office of Dr.
[00:00:43] Speaker B: Honest.
[00:00:43] Speaker D: How may I help you?
[00:00:44] Speaker C: Yeah, this is Baylor. I have a. A 2pm appointment today with him. I'm running a little late, but. But I should be there shortly.
[00:00:55] Speaker D: Okay, let me confirm that for you. Please hold.
[00:00:59] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:01:09] Speaker D: Okay, I see we have you in for 2pm today. Bring your bitch ass in, huh?
I mean, we can't wait to see
[00:01:18] Speaker A: you five hours later.
Welcome, Baylor. Thank you. Thank you for visiting with me.
[00:01:24] Speaker C: Yeah, it's been a while. It's been a while. I've been working a lot, but, you know, it was good to get another session in.
[00:01:31] Speaker A: It's always good. It's always good to see you.
[00:01:33] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:01:34] Speaker A: Let's just get right into it.
How would you describe where you are mentally and emotionally at this point in your life?
[00:01:42] Speaker C: I think I'm on my pre OG status. You know, I think I'm at that phase where I could see the missteps from the younger generation, but I could also, like, see my own hypocrisy when it comes to, you know, the generation that I was brought up in.
So it's kind of like that learning from a lot of lessons that was there before and understanding it and trying to teach the youth, you know, including my own kids.
[00:02:11] Speaker A: Are there any patterns in your thinking or emotions that you've become more aware of recently?
[00:02:16] Speaker C: Yeah, just noticing.
Noticing the relationship with my wife and her parents and seeing how she's handling her relationship and how it was a pattern, you know, that there was situations where she was in some dark places and stuff like that. So I had to sit up there and realize that. I've had some challenges not having parents and things like that and the repetitive behaviors that I've had, you know, since I lost them.
[00:02:51] Speaker A: Hmm.
Since the last time we spoke, what significant changes have you made and how have they impacted you?
[00:02:59] Speaker C: I've been focused on my physical health.
So, you know, I make it a.
I make it a point to get up every day and walk 10k plus steps a day, you know, Very, very nice. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to get back into like the. To working out and then, you know, just working on my relationships. My marriage is I mean, my marriage is my marri marriage and my kids and, and things like that.
Just trying to, to work on, like, working on like core memories, you know, building with my family.
I also think like, Pydon has saved my marriage, you know, so Piedn is one of those things that I've gotten back to. So, you know, Pydance definitely saved my marriage. And maybe on another, you know, another session, I'll explain that later.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: How, how has potting influenced the way you see yourself or the direction in you moving forward? How does, how does that work?
[00:03:58] Speaker C: I think connecting with other people and then, you know, just building other relationships outside of my family, being able to share my thoughts and opinions with other people. Different people from all walks of life.
Yeah, I mean, you know, I've even besides podcasting, I've added some like, semi midlife crisis activities.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: You know, let's, let's talk about those. What, what type of activities?
[00:04:28] Speaker C: I've been going to the gun range, you know, and that's been, that's been kind of fun. We, me and my wife thought about like a hot air balloon trip. And then recently I seen on someone had an emergency landing in the hot air balloon. So we kind of like rethinking that one right now.
[00:04:44] Speaker A: But it seems like, it seems like a lot of these tasks have to do with danger or risk.
[00:04:49] Speaker C: Yeah, more on the thrill. More on the thrill side. But on, on the other, most of the time, I like to just chill at the house, play the video game, make some clothes, make some merch, watch movies, TV shows, things of that nature. If I'm not, if I don't have to be at, you know, my daughter's practice or something like that, I'm at the house.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: What. As far as the walking, that change seems like a pretty significant one. Talk about some of the challenges in getting to the place you are now with walking.
[00:05:21] Speaker C: Well, it started out just my health was, you know, it wasn't doing.
It's not the worst, but I've been hearing a lot of people around my age deal with a lot of health challenges.
And, you know, for a while my blood pressure's been high and it's kind of been worrying me. So I started with, with something light. Instead of just racing back to the gym in January and trying to, you know, act like I've been on it, I just, you know, stepped outside the house a little bit for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half. When I'm at work, I do the same thing and see how many miles can I accumulate within that time frame. And then from there just came like different type of challenges from other podcasters or other walkers and runners out there. They will set up, you know, like a challenge on a Nike app where we have to do anywhere between 60, 70, 80, 100 miles a month.
It's a competitive feeling or a competitive drive that, that I like about stuff like that. And I like to walk, I like to sightsee and stuff like that. So that's where that came about.
[00:06:33] Speaker A: So I think walking is an excellent exercise as well. What wins have you seen, health wise? And how has that shaped other things that you've done in your life? Have you branched out to other healthy things? Has it changed eating, for instance, or how has it influenced other changes in your life?
[00:06:49] Speaker C: I've worked along with the walking.
One of my advices is sweets. So that's the one thing that I've tried to stay away from. Sometimes I'll do a week without having any type of sugar intake.
But along with the walking, I tried to eat better. I definitely try to eat better and probably not overdo it. You know, I wouldn't say I don't, I don't eat as much. I eat when I'm hungry, but it's not like, like I'm eating full course meals like every, you know, three, four hours or something like that. So, yeah, you gotta switch up, you gotta switch up the diet because it's pointless going out there trying to sprint, run, lift weights, stretch, and all this other stuff. Try to get healthy when you're still eating bad.
[00:07:34] Speaker A: Have you ever had that experience where you're just getting done working out and you look down at how many calories you've burned and you try to compare that to how many more calories you ate at fast food earlier that day or that, you know you're gonna eat later that day?
[00:07:46] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. And I'm not. I hate to count the calories. Cause it's like, you know, with us, we just want to see the results. At the end of the day, are we losing weight or not?
And I know the one thing that I have to. I know the things that I have to eliminate. That's the thing. So when it comes to my swee, cheese is not good.
Not good for me. And then fast food, if you could start with just eliminating fast food and probably cut the sugar in half in the beginning, I'll be all right. You'll be okay, right?
[00:08:20] Speaker A: And it's an interesting point I made just because of the fact that you were saying that, you know what you eat is probably far more important than the workout that you do. It's just odd that after you get done working out for an hour, you've only burned half of a McDonald's combo in calories.
[00:08:35] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:08:37] Speaker A: Looking at your life as a whole, what lessons or patterns stand out as shaping who you are today?
[00:08:43] Speaker C: I would say, number one, my physical. My physical health.
I've made it mandatory to walk, so that's. That's number one thing. But overall, the one thing that I've learned is stay out the way. Stay out the way. Then we go home. Keep building.
Think before reacting. Laugh more. It's like. It's like. It's so many different ways or different type of lessons being taught at the same time. It's the lessons that I've created for myself, lessons that's probably already written for me in a good book and then I'm sharing with the younger generation. So I'm continuing to find. Trying to find some type of peace in this world that I've seen changed several different times in my lifetime.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: Tell me about a moment where you were forced to use one of those lessons. Do you have one that you can think of?
[00:09:36] Speaker C: Yeah, recently, which is something that's still going on where, you know, in my work, my work field, I work with people, and I had to make the decision to leave a.
Leave a situation that was 90% of my monthly income.
And.
But that was the only way I was going to be able to, you know, be able to go to another level and another level after that. Instead of being stagnant in that same role, I had to make the decision to.
I had to make that sacrifice of leaving, you know, that one, you know, putting all my eggs in one Easter basket, going back and then just working multiple situations out to replenish that income. So it was, it was, it was a huge risk.
[00:10:32] Speaker A: You mentioned also the youth and your interaction with them. Tell me a little bit about what interactions you've been having with the youth and how. How what you've learned is affecting them or can affect them or change in their lives.
[00:10:44] Speaker C: Some of the. Some of the younger cast that, you know, I grew up around their parents and stuff like that. Seeing them grow since they, you know, grow older since they were little kids. And now it's like you blink and they're either graduating from high school and. Or college.
They're young adults in this world and stuff like that. And you just try to tell them, hey, like, I was, you know, we, we. We've all heard it. I was once 15. I was once 20, 25, 30.
Usually. This is some of the stuff that'd be this time. Make sure you can give them, you know, a little. Sometimes a little cheat sheet or the blueprint of, you know, some information to make them either stay away, think about it, or learn from, you know what.
[00:11:33] Speaker A: What's funny about that is that oftentimes we. We have that sentiment as we grow older. But as I can remember myself as a young person, I wonder how open I would have been to someone coming with that type of knowledge, to coming to me to tell me the things that I was doing wrong. I wish I had. Have listened. And so I use that now to make sure that when I'm giving that kind of lesson or information to younger people that I really try to dig into that. That younger me that didn't quite want to listen and wanted to get my own bruises, you know? Yeah.
[00:12:04] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:06] Speaker A: When you reflect on your current season, what internal tension or struggle feels most present for you right now?
[00:12:15] Speaker C: Being a provider and a protector going out in the world, making sure I have to protect myself in order to get back home, and then also stressing over the fact that I'm away from home. You know what I mean?
I think things will be changing in the near future, but every time I leave the house, I think about coming home immediately.
[00:12:38] Speaker A: How have you been responding to that tension? Are you leaning into it? Are you avoiding it? Give me some background on how you're dealing with it.
[00:12:44] Speaker C: I try to ease it a little bit by making FaceTime calls constantly. Just keeping communication throughout the day while I'm at work.
And when I do come home and the days that I am home, I make sure that I'm just fully present. I know sometimes there could be times where I come home and I'm just tired and not necessarily want to avoid or ignore anybody, but it's just. I'm happy to just be resting in my bed or on the couch or something like that, but it might be a weekend or a situation where there's activities where I have to have some energy, you know?
[00:13:25] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. I think it's. You said something very important there. Sometimes you're home and you can just, like, lean into what's going on right now in your environment right now. But there's a method that I Learned called the 3, 2, 1 method, and that can be done anywhere. You don't have to be at home on the couch. It can be in a time when the tension is high and there's something around you where you can't Relax. And the way the 3:2:1 method works is you. You stop what you're doing, right? Then you first you have to recognize the tension, you have to recognize the stress. And then if you do the three two one method, three is you find. You look at three things and you name them. So you look around the room or the place where you are and you name three things. You don't have to say it out loud, but it can. You can say it out loud. So you name three things that you see, and then you go to two. Two is you name two things that you can hear, and then the one is you think of one way that you feel right now in your body. Just one thing and that one thing.
The three things that you see, the two things that you hear, and the one thing that you feel right at that very moment, it grounds you and puts you in the exact spot where you are in the universe, in the world, in the city, on the block, wherever it is that you are, it grounds you to that point. So you might want to try that as well.
[00:14:33] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:14:34] Speaker A: What do you think the struggle might be trying to reveal or teach you about yourself? When you have that tension moment, what do you think is trying to teach
[00:14:41] Speaker C: you about yourself at the moment?
I don't know.
I guess it's being uncomfortable with not knowing what's going to happen.
You know what I mean? Like living in a world where a lot of stuff just unpredictable, it's just not being able. You know, when a lot of people say the reason why they might be afraid to die is because they don't know what's on the other side, that's where a lot of the fear comes from. So to use it for myself is like when I made that, When I made that risk, I mean, not that that risk. When I took that risk of just leaving that, leaving that site and just opening up my hands to potentially more.
I was nervous, still kind of scared, you know what I mean? And you just think about it because you always think about the possible failures, the ultimate fail failure, you know, and sometimes it's hard to shake. No matter how confident you are or, I know, doesn't matter how many edibles you take, once that high come down, you will start to, you know, you start thinking in your mind, like, did I make the right decision? Was it too fast or did I move too slow? You know, did I say the right thing? Did I say the wrong thing?
[00:16:00] Speaker A: I think it's very important to stop here.
I want you to live with the.
The solutions that you just came up with or I guess the directions, the paths that you try to follow when you feel that tension. So for this week, before we. I see you again next time, I want you to lean into what we just spoke about and how you're dealing with those tensions and see if we can come up with five new ways to deal with tension just from your own mind, you know, things that you can do. And we'll. And we'll see how that goes next week. How about that?
[00:16:27] Speaker C: Okay. That's a bet. That's a bet. Do I. Do I make the appointment up front or am I calling in?
[00:16:35] Speaker A: You can. You can call back into the. The wonderful receptionist, and I'm sure she'll take care of you.
[00:16:40] Speaker C: Okay. Thank you very much, Doc. See you next time.
[00:16:42] Speaker A: Thank you. See you next time, Baylor. All right, Be well.
[00:16:58] Speaker C: Thank you for calling.
Ready, set, go.
[00:17:07] Speaker D: You are.
[00:17:08] Speaker C: Where are we going?
[00:17:09] Speaker B: Westward House.
