[00:00:00] Speaker A: County coming from the city where no pity is.
[00:00:04] Speaker B: Shell.
[00:00:04] Speaker A: Shell.
[00:00:04] Speaker C: Somebody needs to do a song for La.
[00:00:06] Speaker A: Straight up.
Hello. My name is Elaine, and I'll be your tour guide through South Central Los Angeles. Count my dough and smoke up. I'm from California.
[00:00:22] Speaker B: Where you from?
[00:00:23] Speaker A: So what? California. California.
[00:00:28] Speaker B: This is Los Angeles.
[00:00:30] Speaker A: Where are we going? Westward. Home?
[00:00:36] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
I gotta tell the truth.
[00:00:46] Speaker A: It'S too easy.
They call me tell me I'm your favorite tonight and we gonna do we gonna do everything you like I take you anywhere you won't even let you.
[00:01:04] Speaker B: Try hey, I gotta tell the truth. I gotta tell the truth today, man, about how me and Marcy met. I'm just gonna tell you right now.
The story that I'm about to tell you is all actual facts. The characters that's playing in this short film were real paid actors, okay?
Now, Marcy had been filling me for some time.
That's a lie. Okay?
Again, y'all gotta stay with me. I want to know if y'all staying with me, okay? Because I'm not going to tell you no lies. That one was a lie. Okay? But here's how it all began, though. Seriously. I did think she didn't understand what she wanted at the moment. I mean, we young. This is college years, you know what I'm saying? During the college this is the crazy part. During the college years, she could tell you during the college years, I was bumping into everybody but her, you know what I'm saying? Like, maybe in the college years, I maybe bumped into her less than a handful of times.
We rarely ended up at the same house parties. We'd never been to any house parties in high school. We went to rival high schools, you know what I'm saying? So I wasn't going to too many parties on her side of town. Although I was over there in Know, because little Johnny, remember, my brother went to know Hamilton is in the same, know, similar area than Dorsey. They're not too far apart on the west side, you know what I'm saying? I'm way on the east side at Montana. Okay?
We wouldn't bump it into nobody at house parties, you know what I'm saying? And then in the college days, that was clubs and lounges, you know what saying? And we probably been to the same clubs or whatever, but very rare. I can't remember us ever going being at a club at the same time until after we got together.
College years. No, it wasn't nobody it wasn't no club or lounges that we ended up in together.
Yeah, we didn't have that run in that much. But we just knew each other, right? We knew each other and we didn't find out about each other until right after high school, you know what I'm saying? So going to track practice, I told you all that story. You all know the track practice story and stuff. Like that, and I told her it was a vibe there. That's what I'm saying. Like, you cast out was born in the 90s. You all worried.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: Me.
[00:04:03] Speaker B: Okay, just let you all know. Now, we've been on the vibe stuff, okay? That's why it's so burnt out now. We was doing the whole vibe thing back in the late 90s. We had did that. Y'all wasn't there yet. Well, y'all was it? Y'all was at home.
Yeah, because y'all was in elementary. No, you could have been younger than that. You could have been preschool at that.
Yeah, maybe. I don't know where. I don't know. Y'all was young, though. Y'all 90s cats is weird.
Just before or just after POG died?
Some of you all not all of you all. Some of you all. Most of you all is crazy. Most of you all, you know what I'm saying? But, yeah, we really didn't bump into each other at too many parties and stuff like that. You know what?
When the fellas had invaded Dominguez Hills, which the college that she went to, I'm closer, you know what I'm saying?
Now we in the same areas now, because I'm invading her space. This is her college. You know what I'm saying? At the time she was staying, I think she was standing in dorms, but had never been to I don't think I've ever been to you know, we was at some other hey, we was on that side of town. We was a that's why I'm a Raiders fan. We invaded a lot of places, okay? There's a lot of fouls that have been shipped off and buried in the seat somewhere, okay? And guess what? Nobody knows where they're at. Nobody.
But we was everywhere. We was everywhere.
And then you all know the whole story. I'm the one my flirt game has always been at the highest of the rankings, okay?
I mean, forget a statue, you know what I'm saying? I'm almost damn near a myth, okay, when it comes to that.
But she did a friendly thing. What friends do. She showed up the day my mom passed away. She showed up a couple of days later. She came to the funeral.
That's been my dog ever since, you know what I'm saying? Now, I hit those skins. I did.
You want to talk about the purest?
I'm talking about this was cornbread. Fresh out of the oven with some of the finest, richest butter you could find. Smoothness of skin. Oh, my Lord.
Look, finger licking good. I'm trying to tell you. I'm trying to tell you. And we've been rocking ever since.
We've been rocking ever since. That's been my dog ever since. But she crazy.
No, my wife is crazy.
This nigga is correct. Runs the house like it's an institution.
Are we talking about from the kids to the pets to myself, I'm like Raphael.
If we the Ninja Turtles, you know what? The only I'd be trying to rebel. But yo, the institution is too strong.
She fold up clothes a certain way. All the hangers got to face a certain way.
It's crazy. And then you got to look at our you see our headboard. That motherfucker is heavy.
And then she just finds an excuse to see this is the thing.
She is selective clingy what I call it, you know what I'm saying? Like, when she ain't got shit to do, she ain't got nothing to do. She's just bored. Nothing to do, boss. Just nothing to do. Like nothing.
Then that's when she want me to be around her doing nothing.
If it was left up to her, she would just have me stand there and stare at her.
Yeah, I've always told her, I was like, if it was left up to you, you'll have me chained up somewhere downstairs.
Yes, that's how the house is ran, boss. It's an institution. Everybody is a part of the institution. Sometimes. Do we break away? Sometimes we do. Sometimes we do. Sometimes the revolution, but it just don't last that long.
Her nurturing is also like a superpower. It's like a thanos glove.
No, she is crazy, boss. Look, she will wait, purposely wait until I sit down, get comfortable and say, go, give me some water. Go give me a cup of water.
I hate going downstairs. I hate going down the stairs. Wooden, wooden floors, wooden steps.
It's cold and I'm 40. When I get out of the bed, it's different.
My body does an audible and then it's just, ryan, can you go give me can you get this? Can you get that?
I left this. Can you find my teeth?
She always losing her teeth in the shower, in the car, cup holder, next to her printer, next to where she just finished eating, just leaving her teeth everywhere and didn't expect somebody to find it's. The institution.
It's the institution. This is the only place, this is the only outlet I got.
Nobody else can help me. Nobody else can help me. I'm here. Stockholm syndrome to the fullest. And I'm a Raiders fan. Double whammy.
You see what I'm saying, man?
She's crazy now. I just don't understand. She will just go to the store and just go buy some crab legs and just don't share it with nobody.
She don't want to share those crab legs with nobody?
No, she's despicable. I don't even know if I said that right.
But that's how she is, though.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. You know what I mean? But you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to fall back in line. That's right.
Life is good.
Life is good. I do not want to mess that up, you know what I'm saying?
Man? You all want to come over to my house? I say, no.
My family going to jump you, okay? I've trained them. Okay.
You understand what I'm saying? I've trained them to be my daughter almost three years ago, was in a heated gun war with myself and my wife.
Me and my wife, we're team.
That's my guy. You know what I'm saying? This is Bonie and Clyde type of shit that we own. We inside the know. The kids is the ops. We shooting at them niggas. They gotta go.
They gotta go.
Let me tell you something.
Bailey is a quick learner.
She's a magnet when it comes to this criminal shit. You want to know how I know? Because she shot my wife in the eye. Twice in the same eye.
No, you don't understand what she shot her in the pupil, okay?
She shot her in the pupil in the same spot.
If you don't understand what type of killer that is, bro, what you want me to do with that?
But that's what I'm saying. You all want to come over and oh, my God. Look like the tailors is always having fun. They got a Jacuzi. They have Jacuzzi nights and stuff like that. They talk. They marriage problems out in the Jacuzzi. I think that's dope. Let's go be around them. No, they're going to jump you.
They gonna jump you.
You understand what I'm saying?
Dangerous. All they do is play fortnite and minecraft. These niggas know how to kill people and build shit.
And they know how to do it. They do it. You know what I'm saying? Roblox. God.
Roblox is the new crack.
It's an epidemic. The government dropped this shit off in the hood. Roblox.
Yes. That in two K. Because between Roblox and VC.
Chokehold, chokehold. What's the purpose of this episode? I don't know. I started off with me talking about how me and my wife got together. And now that I'm a part of this institution we got two dogs now.
You understand what I'm saying?
From a person that said, I don't want any dogs.
I got two dogs.
They're like kids.
Especially the Tyler. The one that we got, this little motherfucker jumps around with a little aggressive ass bark.
Mocha want to be part time jealous, part time friendly and shit like that. Mocha doing all kind of doing all kind of tricks we ain't taught her. Now that this dog is around this motherfucker is the middle child syndrome shit. Look at me.
Look at me. Look what I can do.
I'm doomed. I'm doomed.
[00:15:25] Speaker C: Around my city it's a couple niggas trying to kill me. Childhood homies trying to drill me. You niggas know to real me if you ain't shot a sucker, you won't feel me. These undercover niggas trying to steal me we drilling some really? How my shooter pop you like an ily. You ain't never popped a nigga. Clearly, I got to keep a chimney ready for the smoke. Hope you hear me. Free shooters, boy. I miss that nigga dearly shit, all these niggas fear me, nigga couple hundred get you stepped on crazy how my name getting ripped on Teflon niggas better have that Teflon but I'll be shooting till his vest gone.